Blog · Moving to North Atlanta

Everyone's Friendly, but No One's a Friend Yet: Moving to North Atlanta, From Someone Who Lives Here

By Dalia Zarhin, Real Estate Advisor, HomeSmart

I live in Dunwoody. I work in Dunwoody, Sandy Springs, Alpharetta and Roswell. I walk these neighborhoods, I drive GA-400 like everyone else, and when I show homes around here, I hear the same question again and again: will I feel at home?

I understand that question. I have moved countries several times. Each time, I had to start over. New streets, new store, new faces. The hardest part was never the boxes. It was the quiet evenings, when you have nobody to call.

So here is my honest answer, from someone who lives it.

People are nice here. But nice is not the same as close.

I also read what other newcomers say online, and it matches what I hear in person. One thread on r/alpharetta asked people about their first 60 to 90 days after moving here (read the thread). One person said friendships here feel "a mile wide and an inch deep… everyone is friendly but no one is a friend."

The same person gave a few reasons:

• Many people move in and out of the area.
• Families are busy with kids' travel sports.
• Traffic makes even 5 miles feel far.
• Each HOA can feel like its own little island.

I see some of this myself. When I moved here, I was alone. I did not know anyone. One day I said hi to my neighbor. After that, we started to talk more and more. Today he is my best friend. It started with one small hi.

None of this means something is wrong with you. It is just how the area works at the beginning.

The other side of the story

In the same thread, someone else wrote something very different. They said they have more close friends now than in 12 years where they lived before. How? Neighbors. Daycare parents. A small church where "everyone introduced themselves."

And then they wrote: "We are each other's family."

Same area, same traffic, very different result. The difference was the small, everyday places where you see the same people again and again.

When I walk around my own neighborhood, I notice these places too. At my Publix, my CVS and the farmers market, the same people work there, and the same people shop there. After a while, you know the faces, and they know yours.

What helps

From what newcomers share, and from my own experience starting over, a few things come up again and again:

• Go to the same thing every week. One-time events are fun, but friendships grow when you see the same faces.
• Join a league or volunteer. It gives you something to do together, so talking is easy.
• Say hi to your neighbors. They are the people closest to you, every single day.
• Be a little more outgoing than you normally are. It feels strange at first. It gets easier.

That same neighbor is the one who showed me around. He showed me the places he likes and helped me learn the area. That is when Dunwoody started to feel like home.

You are not alone in feeling alone

If you are new here and it feels a bit lonely, that is normal. It does not last forever. Give it time, pick one or two regular things, and keep showing up.

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